I am insecure. I fear. I am afraid to be vulnerable a lot of the time. I base my reality on momentary feelings. I struggle with obsessing over the future. I worry about all the “what if’s” of the world. I compare myself to my friends all the time. I feel unworthy on most days. I wait for the other shoe to drop. I’m obsessed with what people think of me. I constantly feel like I should be doing more or being more. If I don’t have something on the horizon to look forward to, I tend to get discontent. I wonder if I’m enough. On a bad day, I don’t believe I have a purpose. I am messy. I don’t like myself sometimes.
These are thoughts on the record player of my heart and mind on the days that I’m not seeking the face of God. I for real carry all of this junk subconsciously. Who wants to carry this? I sure don’t, but I do it anyway.
Allow, condone, permit, endure, accept, bear, suffer
-allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference.
-to accept or endure (someone or something unpleasant or disliked) with forbearance.
I picture myself walking around all day doing my thing and the enemy walking right behind me, constantly whispering all of those nasty lies into my ear. I don’t tell him to go away, I don’t tell him to shut up, I don’t run towards Jesus with these lies, I just take them and tolerate them. I add weight to my already weighty flesh and I wonder why I’m exhausted everyday. I wonder why I don’t trust God with it all most days. I wonder why I am so bummed out sometimes.
I’m listening to the wrong voice.
I was reading this morning in Matthew about how Jesus went into the wilderness and fasted for 40 days. He was constantly tempted and the enemy wasn’t growing tired of persistently trying to make the Son of God stumble. Finally, all Jesus had to do was tell him to flee and immediately he was gone. Without a word or warning. He was gone. The angels appeared and served Him in that moment.
Do you realize the power you have in the holy spirit? You can tell the enemy to flee and he will OBEY you! He will literally evaporate. He can’t handle it! He can’t be near the heart that is postured towards Jesus. Posture is a constant choice though. We have to consistently check where our heart is leaning and remember that the most powerful thing we can do is lean into Jesus. And that takes trust, humility and surrender. We forget the power we have in Jesus. I feel like we sometimes forget to believe that. Or believe that it’s too good to be true.
I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms. –Ephesians 1:19-20
And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. –Romans 8:11
To tolerate the enemy is to be robbed of your reality and all of the beauty of these days. I have been robbed of so many beautiful moments because I let the enemy stick around. I couldn’t see past the lies.
And quite frankly, I’m sick of missing out.
Are we using this gift to our full potentials? Are we setting ourselves free of our flesh and the lies that will always try and destroy us? Are we recognizing this spirit of tolerating in our friends and loved ones and calling it out for what it is? If not, we are cheating them out of the beautiful spirit that dwells within them. They must be reminded. We all need to be reminded!
I refuse to sit back any longer and say to myself that this way of thinking is just the way I am. Or look at my circumstances and say, this is just the hand I was dealt. Nope, not anymore.
Jesus didn’t die for mediocre. Jesus died for us to have His best.
There is so much more, friends.
It’s time to take back what is ours. It’s time to rise up and grow into who God has made us to be. It’s time to tell the enemy to FLEE because we can.
Again, the devil took Him to a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. And he said to Him, “I will give you all of these things if you will fall down and worship me.” Then Jesus said, “Away from me, satan! For it is written: Worship the Lord your God, and serve only Him.” Then the devil immediately left Him, and angels came and began to serve Him.”